I’ve been lurking in the depths and shadows of this blogging business since my mid teens, when my visitor count consisted of the same trusted few, over and over, reading my completely moronic teenage musings. As Anonymous helpfully pointed out on my previous post, I still have a long way to go before reaching their own aged and educated level of enlightenment in all aspects of my life. However, after spending several months studying my peers, by means of Google Reader, I feel I do have the expertise to compile this “How to” list. My meager (though valued) followers, we too can be part of the elite “1000+ club”.
- Have an Etsy shop.
- Have a super-cute face, and preferably dimples. If they don’t come naturally, there’s a stud for that.
- Get some tattoos. See FYT for inspiration.
- Get a cat or a dog. Bonus points for having several of either.
- Live with your boyfriend. Better yet, get married before graduation.
- Possess a large collection of cameras, and ensure you hold one in each hand at all times. Bonus follower-points for using your cameras to take photos of your other cameras. (Those without the ability to collect cameras can source all images from WHI, at your own peril)
- Be really, really organised. In your super cute little house, especially. And make sure to take a lot of photos demonstrating you organisational skills every time you clean up.
- Those with incredible “thinking-ahead” skills, pre-arrange to be named a variation of Kayla upon birth. Alternative two-syllable first names are acceptable, though not favoured.
- Allow your week to revolve around weekends, where you have 48 hours of thrifting opportunity (here we call it ‘op-shopping’, but let’s face it, no one in blogging-world is very interested in what words “arsy arsy little Alice” uses). Don’t forget your cameras!
- Never ever ever post anything that could even remotely offend a fellow blogger.
Oh, fuck.
35 comments:
hilarious... I always find the most random people have like 1000 blog followers and it makes no sense... until now. lol
lol!!! How true!
I love it and it is all true! Nicely said!
To be honest, I will be content with just reaching 20 followers and I am actually surprised that I have any.
Thank you for being a follower!
haha i love this!! very clever
Yup I see Alot of people have alot of followers but I Would Rather have Followers That come back and visit and not Just follow so you follow back. Following You Now saw You linked up for the 365 day Picture challenge! Check Out my Blog
Ladii-Aponte.Blogspot.com
Haha I love it.
I love many different blogs, but my favorite are the 'real' ones, not the ones in some sort of popularity contest.
"There's a stud for that" - I read that like "there's an app for that" which made it much more adorable.
@Sarah-Rose Haha you rule; exactly the tone I was going for :-)
AHAHAHA!
this is hilarious! i love it. everything is so so true.
hahahaha. i hope most people find that funny and not get offended by it but if they do, who cares? lol. you made me laugh today (even though some of those totally apply to me...still not offended, laughing out loud instead!)
you're awesome.
@Carly Haha thanks! I was blaaatantly taking the piss, so anyone who actually gets offended I don't feel is worth knowing anyway... must have GSOH! Also, several of them totally apply to me too :-D
i made a post referring to this because i want to share the laughs with others, hope you don't mind!!
i added your button to my blog as well as i think you're great and want to spread the love...
@Carly Aww too kind! Thank you! :-)
You are very observant, haha. Love it.
This is just the best. I love it.
i knew my cat was helping me reach my follower dreams! 1000 here we come, baby!
ps: came over from carly's blog. i was intrigued, and i'm glad i hopped over :]
you're cute. i need to drop one of the syllables from my name...which do you recommend? hehe.
that's cool you're from new zealand! i would love to go there one day.
and...i came by thanks to carly's link too :)
I think you missed something - the dog must be a pug.
I am seriously sitting in my office laughing out loud. This is hilarious. I don't get why some of these super popular blogs are so...well, popular.
However...my name is leyla (pronounced like Kaelah, just with an L at the beginning instead of a K) so I'm probably halfway on my way to blog celebrity. Heck yes!
Found your link on Carly's blog and had to click and see. Glad I did!
Guess I don't fit into to many of those...oh well don't care if I'm popular.
I thouroughly enjoyed this post! It gave me a great laugh today. Thanks!
:)
amylou
Thank you. Just.. thank you, for having the balls to poke fun at something I think is worth laughing at and not being offended over.
- Jen-ny. (Two syllables. In the clear.)
omg this totally made me giggle....I hope you don't mind if I steal it and post it on my blog...this kind of made my day............
"there's a stud for that"
teehee!
Totally cracked me up XD
oh THAT's what i'm doing wrong.
dang.
i'm going to have to completely revamp my life for this.
[haha. i could never fill that mould. my house is far from organized, i can't even afford one camera, and i'm just not trendy. oh well!]
Oh dear, I just found your blog, and I am in love with this post. HILARIOUS. Can't wait to stalk your archives :)
Oh, man. I have a huge issue with people who call op-shopping thrifting. SO WANKY. It's like not having a shower for a couple days because, I don't know, maybe the water's out, but you tell people you're 'realigning your scent' or something. "Oh, sorry... that's just me rescenting."
Not that I have anything against op-shopping, I love it. But it's not posh.
hehehehehehehe Oh Gator you are the best at these things!!! I cracked up more than once reading this post <3 cute.
haha. <3
bahahhhahahahahahhaaaaaaa.
This is great! I actually blogged about my place because it was looking soooo gnarly! I took pictures of the disgusting kitchen totally overrun with dishes and the multitude of sticky cobwebs with tons of bugs and spiders in them! My friends (who are pretty much the only ones who read my blog) got a real kick out of it! Let's face it, this is how most of us are really living...
Found you on To Make Love Stay, by the way...
hilarious and true.
so so true. flip this describes so many blogs, but for some reason i still keep reading them.
pity i do fit a could of these categories, but i waited till i graduated uni before marrying, so im not that bad. :D
-k
Hahaha this is an old post, but this made me laugh :)
I stumbled across your blog and when I saw "How to be a popular blogger" I got excited for legit tips of how to make my blog more popular. I've been looking for tips all week. This post made me LOL. I seriously burst out laughing and it made me feel a lot better being a new blogger. I'm not going to focus on getting 1000+ followers anymore and just focus on good posts I can come up with. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it! haha :)
Post a Comment