How to be a popular blogger

I’ve been lurking in the depths and shadows of this blogging business since my mid teens, when my visitor count consisted of the same trusted few, over and over, reading my completely moronic teenage musings. As Anonymous helpfully pointed out on my previous post, I still have a long way to go before reaching their own aged and educated level of enlightenment in all aspects of my life. However, after spending several months studying my peers, by means of Google Reader, I feel I do have the expertise to compile this “How to” list. My meager (though valued) followers, we too can be part of the elite “1000+ club”.

1. Have an Etsy shop.
2. Have a super-cute face, and preferably dimples. If they don’t come naturally, there’s a stud for that.
3. Get some tattoos. See FYT for inspiration.
4. Get a cat or a dog. Bonus points for having several of either.
5. Live with your boyfriend. Better yet, get married before graduation.
6. Possess a large collection of cameras, and ensure you hold one in each hand at all times. Bonus follower-points for using your cameras to take photos of your other cameras. (Those without the ability to collect cameras can source all images from WHI, at your own peril)
7. Be really, really organised. In your super cute little house, especially. And make sure to take a lot of photos demonstrating you organisational skills every time you clean up.
8. Those with incredible “thinking-ahead” skills, pre-arrange to be named a variation of Kayla upon birth. Alternative two-syllable first names are acceptable, though not favoured.
9. Allow your week to revolve around weekends, where you have 48 hours of thrifting opportunity (here we call it ‘op-shopping’, but let’s face it, no one in blogging-world is very interested in what words “arsy arsy little Alice” uses). Don’t forget your cameras!
10. Never ever ever post anything that could even remotely offend a fellow blogger.

Oh, fuck.