Today has been really, really hard. I'm actually amazed at how affected I feel- I don't personally know anyone missing or deceased but I have a knot in my stomach that doesn't go away. I guess that's partially due to the fact that I'm immersed in the news reports at work, but also I can't think of anything similar that's happened in my lifetime. I've been well aware of many similar (and far larger) tragedies overseas, and other incidences of mass loss of life within NZ, but nothing like this. Wellington has been told for years to expect 'the big one', and to be honest, we all breathed a sigh of relief when the September earthquake hit Christchurch- it wasn't us, and even better- they all survived. Now only a few months later, it's happened again and there are many who haven't survived. It's disturbing and unsettling in a way I can't really describe.
We powered through hours of broadcast at work today, and I didn't find it too difficult to just go-robot and type away. Focus on all the details I'm required to record, and block out everything else. Watching the Prime Minister's speech was strangely emotional and patriotic. There's a few people at my work with immediate family in Christchurch, and so far they are all okay. It's strange; to be in an environment for eight hours where news on earthquake recovery is priority number one and tension is easily felt, and then to step out into the sunshine this afternoon and walk around with people laughing and scores of 'first year' University students stampeding along the footpaths with their tell-tale lanyards.
I've seen a lot of insensitive stuff on Facebook and Twitter. I can absolutely understand the international Twits getting sick of the #eqnz hashtag- did NZ come to a standstill for any overseas tragedies of the last few years? No, I absolutely don't think so. We felt sad for the families of deceased, and then went and bought a new lipstick. But it creeps me out to see nonchalant posts from fellow Kiwis, a couple of whom I really consider friends.
I really am fine- upset, but fine. I had a coffee with my aunt straight after work, and that was perfect, very grateful for her thinking of me. I don't believe in god, and I don't believe in prayer. But I'm thinking of people in Christchurch 24/7. It's pretty exhausting, but absolutely nothing in comparison to what people are going through down there.
I'm sure in a few days I'll be back to my usual posting-self, it's just a bit difficult today. Charlie's friend Matt is arriving today from Australia, so I'm looking forward to a beer with them when he finishes work.
3 comments:
My former co-worker use to work at the CTV station, his gf just posted a link on Facebook regarding the TV crew who died. It really hit home. :'(
I am reading more about the earthquake on news websites and came on here just to leave you a comment. It's so sad. This, plus everything that Libya's going through at the moment. I hope they find more survivors out of the 300 missing.
I'm in the same boat - I don't have any friends or family in Chch. The closest link I have is that the company that supplies my dads business is down there, and that friends of mine have friends down there. I'm not even in the country and I'm affected, I can't tear myself away from news feeds, and it is almost bizarre how in an office full of British + EU citizens it became 'old news' very very quickly. Still, I think John Key was right when he said NZ was such a small nation, and we're all affected, we're all family. That this is not Christchurch's problem, its New Zealands problem. We're all in this. And I think it shows, with people opening their homes, donating, and even big companies like Telecom, Orcon + AirNZ doing what they can. It makes me proud to be a kiwi, you know?
And yeah, me too. I'm fine, upset, but fine. x
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